Ready is a decision
The mythology of habit forming
Habits often come in a cloud of mythology.
I’m not ready. I don’t have enough time. I’m not good enough. I won’t stick to it. It won’t be good enough. There’s no point if I don’t do it a certain way.
Oh, so you can see the future and can foretell failure? Nice! What else do you know?
All I can know in the here and now is:
What I want
What I’m capable of trying
What seems realistic
And I can always remind myself:
That I want to try
That I’m always worthy
That there’s no measurement to good enough
That “being ready” is the biggest myth of all
Notice how the list of what I know isn’t “What I’m going to do” or “What I should do.” I’m not in the business of trying to guess my final accomplishment in habit building (which is different than goal setting, which does often demand a concrete outcome), nor am I in the business of assuming what will work. All I’m trying to do is be real about what I want from this habit, how much I’m willing to go for it, and what I think I can do to accomplish that.
Take my goal of improving my German. I’m not saying I’m going to be C1 by the end of the year. My hope is to be more comfortable in social situations. It seemed realistic (and wise) to try to engage with the language on a daily basis. So I thought, how much time can I dedicate to this daily? 15 minutes as a bare minimum seemed both realistic and sufficient for actual progress. I knew some days would be more, like when I have my hour-long German lesson or listen to a longer podcast or just get really into the groove of studying my flashcards (it’s happened!), but on busy days, I knew I could always find 15 minutes.
Just to prove a point, that means I’ve worked on German for over 20 hours in the 46 days since I started “Daily Deutsch.” Previously, that number would have been closer to about 5 hours.
Searching for certainty in habit forming is what keeps you stuck. Wanting to know it will work, that what you try will make it stick this time. The compassionate view is that you’re trying to shield yourself from the disappointment of not following through. The harsher view is you’re keeping yourself stuck in the safe place of inertia by letting the details stop you from even trying.
Again, habits are not goals. They do not require a measurable outcome or the SMART framework. Habits are built on consistency and dedication. Be steadfast in your dedication and flexible in your methods. There’s something to be said for just jumping into it and figuring out the methodology later. No time to hesitate or stall. Breaking free of the inertia by moving with speed.
But, sometimes, you really aren’t ready. I wasn’t ready to adopt a consistent German study habit – until I was. I’m certain the months of frustration – both with my inability to speak at the level I wanted and to spend time studying – are what enabled me to wake up one day in February this year and decide that I was going to study German daily for 100 days and start on that very day. I needed the months and repetition of visceral frustration to finally ignite the flame of dedication. I wasn’t ready until I was.
Life itself is constant preparation without knowing what for. You never know what you’re rehearsing versus performing, but both are happening at a constantly, simultaneous clip. Then one day you make a decision not realizing how deeply informed it is by seemingly unrelated details. You can’t get to where you are without having been where you were before.
If you’re not feeling ready, it’s important to interrogate why you think that. Being scared, lazy, or intimidated are the most common reasons for not feeling ready. That’s more of inertia trying to keep you stuck and “safe.”
But there is also the possibility that you actually don’t have the time or mental capacity for it. Maybe your priorities really are elsewhere.
I have always had a long list of competing priorities. I would look at the list and exclaim, “But they’re all important!” And it’s true! They are! But as I considered how to build my habits, I knew I had to change how I handled my priorities.
2026 is the first time I’ve segmented my priorities out by quarter and it has provided immense relief. I’m no longer looking at a long list of things that feel equally important, but handling 2-3 at a time and know the rest will have their time later. While I think German will remain a priority throughout the year, if it gets a little less airtime in the face of some career work I plan to do later in the year, that’s ok, because I’ll have already spent nearly a third of the year prioritizing it.
This is also a hack for circumventing the ready feeling. Because when Q3 rolls around, you bet your ass we’re working on career stuff. I’ll have already spent 6 months focused elsewhere, it’s time to turn the spotlight on a new topic! You’re ready because I (past Maeve) say so!
Don’t wait for “ready” – but know thyself. Know what you can handle. Being honest with yourself is an underrated backbone of habit building. Be honest about what effort you can put in – and what you’re holding back. Be honest about how far you can go – and what your limits are. Be honest, and then go do it.
